Sure, she says she "just wants everyone to be happy" and "doesn't need anything," — two statements that even I have uttered a few times this season — but let's break it down. This is the list of things mom really wants for the holidays this year.
Read MoreWhen my son was little, together we looked forward to Christmas for what seemed like months. There were lists made, letters written to Santa, programs at school to attend and little handprint crafts to make. I soaked in every moment I could of these magical days. It always felt like Christmas, and I could barely wait until the next holiday season.
Now that he and his step-sisters are older, my husband and I find ourselves having to manufacture Christmas spirit and squeeze in holiday traditions between countless basketball games, recitals and our work responsibilities. As a blended family, the strain of navigating complex schedules means that, in some ways, Dec. 25 becomes another day on the calendar for parenting exchanges we wish we didn't have to make. So how do you get the Christmas spirit, when you don’t even have time to get a peppermint latte?
Read MoreI have always coached my son that having fun is the most important part of any game, but I have found myself alongside other well-meaning parents getting swept away in the excitement and drama of the game — questioning the calls of referees and umpires, and critiquing the other team. When I step back, it’s easy to see how the momentum of the win can start to overshadow what’s really supposed to matter at this age — learning, development, skill-building and, most of all, fun.
Read MoreI usually try to approach most of life with a realistic but optimistic perspective. If someone asks how I'm doing, I'm usually quick to respond with "great," "doing really well" or "we're just so grateful." Sometimes I add in the latest cute story just for emphasis that we're all doing just fine.
But lately I haven't been feeling it.
In a recent conversation with a co-worker, she asked how I was and I just didn't have the energy to give the "sunny side" answer. Instead I said, "You know, I feel like I've been in a slump lately. Don't get me wrong, we're really fortunate, but some days are just hard right now."
The response I received was something of a sigh of relief. She shared that she'd been feeling the same way. By answering honestly, we were able to engage in a quick but powerful conversation where we shared what was bothering us, and offered emotional support. It was a moment of camaraderie and vulnerability that was needed and appreciated.
Read MoreAround the time my son started talking, the warnings of the "tween years" started swirling. Well-meaning friends who had older kids would say things like, "Enjoy this time. It won't be long before he's a tween and talking back to you." Or, "Enjoy the cuddles now because in a few years he won't want anything to do with you."
As a first-time mom of an only-child, these cautionary tales cut right through me as I looked at my sweet, loving little buddy.
Fast forward several years and that adorable, joyful, caring boy is now an 11-year-old tween. He and his stepsister, who is the same age, are smack dab between child and teen and, to be honest, this phase of parenting might be among my favorites.
Read MoreThe Grinch has had nothing on me over the last few weeks.
With Thanksgiving plans changing, shuffling our kids between their other homes and the general stress of life in the world right now, “Bah humbug” is about the nicest thing I’ve said about the holiday season. I’m ashamed to admit that I even threatened not to put up the Christmas tree this year — twice.
Then it happened. As I watched our neighbors put up their holiday lights over the weekend, I started to feel just a twinkle of joy and knew it was something I had to do right away!
Read MoreRecently, my darling husband kindly asked me what I want for Christmas. My mind went two places — sweatpants or diamonds. While it would be far more realistic and reasonable for me to list my "top gifts mom will love that don't break the bank," a girl needs to dream a little. So I decided to come up with a guide for what mom really wants this year. It's wholly impractical and luxurious, but it's also sure to have her say, "This year hasn't been the worst after all."
Read MoreWhat do you want to be when you grow up? How our family intentionally talks to our kids about careers.
Read MoreLiving on planet earth is hard. I am very fortunate and see my life as beautiful and full, yet I have been challenged like many others with very hard circumstances. I’ve dealt with divorce, remarriage, changes in career and transitions in parenting. Oh, and this thing we’re universally going through — a global pandemic.
These are among just a few reasons why, over the last 10 years, I have invested time and resources in professional counseling and therapy. I’m convinced, based on my own experience, that if you are fortunate enough to have the resources available, professional counseling is something that anyone can benefit from.
Read MoreI was at a meeting awhile back with a man who told me that he had spent an entire weekend with his grandchildren and loved every minute of it. And then, with some hesitation, he also told me that he couldn't remember ever spending two full days with his own children.
It went by too fast, he said.
Anyone who has raised a child has heard this popular phrase from parents with grown children. It also usually seems to be coupled with the advice to "enjoy every moment." Each time this phrase is brought into a conversation I'm having with someone, I find myself pausing to think about the current stage we're in with our children.
So what is a parent to do? What can I do about the rapid movement of time and the moments I'm admittedly missing?
Read More"I love it when you help me walk the dog." "Your laugh is the best!" "I appreciate it when you help me fold laundry." "I love being your stepmom!" "I love watching you play basketball."
These are just a few of the notes that are found on the outside of each of our kids' bedroom doors during the month of February.
Read MoreI try to find opportunities to acknowledge what's special about a day and bring some extra fun to our kids' week. We celebrate traditional holidays like St. Patrick's Day or April Fool's Day, but we also get a kick out of "May 4th" — also known as Star Wars Day — and newer holidays like Giving Tuesday, which is the Tuesday after Thanksgiving.
I recently discovered a new favorite holiday — "World Nutella Day," which happens to be today. This day may become a contender with Groundhog Day for my all-time favorite day of the year.
Read MoreRecently, as I watched my son practice his piano lesson, I was overcome with a feeling of wanting to take the piano back up again. Is that something I can actually do? I’m a mom, and I spend most of my time now supporting our kids’ activities, but what about my own hobbies?
Read MoreChristmas is over, the presents are opened, and it feels like we’ve already done everything fun this season has to offer. Every year when the holidays are over, the winter blues seem to come on fast, and I start to dread the inevitable cry of “I’m bored.”
This year, knowing that winter with three elementary-aged kids can get long, we created a family winter season "bucket list" of activities that will hopefully keep us going until at least March or April. Together we created a list that has everyone excited about the cold weather.
To read more and see our full list, visit the full article on Momaha.com.
Read MoreFor nearly 10 years, I've tried to find balance everywhere in my life. I've tried to strike the "right" balance between working hard and being present with my family. I've tried to ignore my work email while at home at night and not answer any personal calls during the day. In the end, I find myself sidestepping my own rules. Sadly, chasing after the ideal of balance has left me feeling like I've failed over and over again.
After a particularly trying day recently — where I dropped the ball at work and came home without the remaining supplies needed for my kiddo's half-finished science project — it dawned on me that maybe balance was an illusion. Maybe it's not possible to create a life in which the scales of a meaningful career and a beautiful, healthy, happy family are in perfect harmony all the time.
And then I thought: "Maybe I could focus on learning to juggle instead."
After all, juggling is more fluid and evokes an image of someone guiding balls through the air. Sometimes you just have to juggle one ball at a time; sometimes it's multiple balls. Often times, the balls are in hand, but at other times they are set aside to be added later. It's not uncommon to drop balls on the floor.
Read MoreThanksgiving and Christmas are supposed to be warm, joyful, magical, spirited and sparkly. They’re all about family. But can it really be that way in a new version of a family? Those first couple of years after divorce, I wondered, “Can it be Christmas if you’re not with all the people you love on December 25"?
Read MoreOne day before my husband said "I do," we moved the final boxes into our new home.
When we should have been celebrating the our upcoming nuptials, we instead found ourselves overwhelmed and arguing about the chaotic state of the house, while also scrambling to pack for our honeymoon. Together, we learned a lot throughout the entire experience. To learn more about what I wish we would have and would not have done, visit the full article on Momaha.com
Read MoreThe last time my child rode his Big Wheel bike was nearly five years ago. If he tried to sit in it now, he would get stuck.
And yet it sits in our garage — huge and chunky — waiting for no one.
In fact, our garage has become a mausoleum of toys and clothes from days gone by. They're physical reminders of time; items I can't bring myself to get rid of.
Read MoreTrying to manage the kids’ activities is like trying to juggle while riding the spinning teacups at Disneyland.
In my house, we have three kids within a range of two years. Like a lot of families today, our children might be categorized as “over-programmed."
Most weeks we find ourselves running between competition dance, baseball, basketball, golf (or whatever sport is in season) and piano lessons. We'll even occasionally throw in in a showcase, performance or science fair at school.
We try to monitor this, but frequently an extra lesson or an extra team sneaks in here and there. And, unfortunately, there are just times where events overlap — or we can’t shuffle work around to be somewhere at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday — and we miss their event.
I feel the pang of guilt every time this happens.
Read MoreI am a stepmother and, if I'm being honest, it's not something I ever dreamed of being. I don't think any stepmom does.
As a young child, I didn't carry around my baby doll pretending I was its second mother. We don't dream of being a stepmom in the same way we dream of being moms. In our dreams, we're the mom our children know first; the only mom they'll ever come to love. We don't dream of being second. Being a stepmom means someone's first dream has ended in heartache.
But here I am — grateful to be a stepmom by design.
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