Sure, she says she "just wants everyone to be happy" and "doesn't need anything," — two statements that even I have uttered a few times this season — but let's break it down. This is the list of things mom really wants for the holidays this year.
Read MoreWhen my son was little, together we looked forward to Christmas for what seemed like months. There were lists made, letters written to Santa, programs at school to attend and little handprint crafts to make. I soaked in every moment I could of these magical days. It always felt like Christmas, and I could barely wait until the next holiday season.
Now that he and his step-sisters are older, my husband and I find ourselves having to manufacture Christmas spirit and squeeze in holiday traditions between countless basketball games, recitals and our work responsibilities. As a blended family, the strain of navigating complex schedules means that, in some ways, Dec. 25 becomes another day on the calendar for parenting exchanges we wish we didn't have to make. So how do you get the Christmas spirit, when you don’t even have time to get a peppermint latte?
Read MoreThe Grinch has had nothing on me over the last few weeks.
With Thanksgiving plans changing, shuffling our kids between their other homes and the general stress of life in the world right now, “Bah humbug” is about the nicest thing I’ve said about the holiday season. I’m ashamed to admit that I even threatened not to put up the Christmas tree this year — twice.
Then it happened. As I watched our neighbors put up their holiday lights over the weekend, I started to feel just a twinkle of joy and knew it was something I had to do right away!
Read MoreRecently, my darling husband kindly asked me what I want for Christmas. My mind went two places — sweatpants or diamonds. While it would be far more realistic and reasonable for me to list my "top gifts mom will love that don't break the bank," a girl needs to dream a little. So I decided to come up with a guide for what mom really wants this year. It's wholly impractical and luxurious, but it's also sure to have her say, "This year hasn't been the worst after all."
Read MoreWhat do you want to be when you grow up? How our family intentionally talks to our kids about careers.
Read MoreLiving on planet earth is hard. I am very fortunate and see my life as beautiful and full, yet I have been challenged like many others with very hard circumstances. I’ve dealt with divorce, remarriage, changes in career and transitions in parenting. Oh, and this thing we’re universally going through — a global pandemic.
These are among just a few reasons why, over the last 10 years, I have invested time and resources in professional counseling and therapy. I’m convinced, based on my own experience, that if you are fortunate enough to have the resources available, professional counseling is something that anyone can benefit from.
Read MoreI was at a meeting awhile back with a man who told me that he had spent an entire weekend with his grandchildren and loved every minute of it. And then, with some hesitation, he also told me that he couldn't remember ever spending two full days with his own children.
It went by too fast, he said.
Anyone who has raised a child has heard this popular phrase from parents with grown children. It also usually seems to be coupled with the advice to "enjoy every moment." Each time this phrase is brought into a conversation I'm having with someone, I find myself pausing to think about the current stage we're in with our children.
So what is a parent to do? What can I do about the rapid movement of time and the moments I'm admittedly missing?
Read MoreI try to find opportunities to acknowledge what's special about a day and bring some extra fun to our kids' week. We celebrate traditional holidays like St. Patrick's Day or April Fool's Day, but we also get a kick out of "May 4th" — also known as Star Wars Day — and newer holidays like Giving Tuesday, which is the Tuesday after Thanksgiving.
I recently discovered a new favorite holiday — "World Nutella Day," which happens to be today. This day may become a contender with Groundhog Day for my all-time favorite day of the year.
Read MoreChristmas is over, the presents are opened, and it feels like we’ve already done everything fun this season has to offer. Every year when the holidays are over, the winter blues seem to come on fast, and I start to dread the inevitable cry of “I’m bored.”
This year, knowing that winter with three elementary-aged kids can get long, we created a family winter season "bucket list" of activities that will hopefully keep us going until at least March or April. Together we created a list that has everyone excited about the cold weather.
To read more and see our full list, visit the full article on Momaha.com.
Read MoreFor nearly 10 years, I've tried to find balance everywhere in my life. I've tried to strike the "right" balance between working hard and being present with my family. I've tried to ignore my work email while at home at night and not answer any personal calls during the day. In the end, I find myself sidestepping my own rules. Sadly, chasing after the ideal of balance has left me feeling like I've failed over and over again.
After a particularly trying day recently — where I dropped the ball at work and came home without the remaining supplies needed for my kiddo's half-finished science project — it dawned on me that maybe balance was an illusion. Maybe it's not possible to create a life in which the scales of a meaningful career and a beautiful, healthy, happy family are in perfect harmony all the time.
And then I thought: "Maybe I could focus on learning to juggle instead."
After all, juggling is more fluid and evokes an image of someone guiding balls through the air. Sometimes you just have to juggle one ball at a time; sometimes it's multiple balls. Often times, the balls are in hand, but at other times they are set aside to be added later. It's not uncommon to drop balls on the floor.
Read MoreThanksgiving and Christmas are supposed to be warm, joyful, magical, spirited and sparkly. They’re all about family. But can it really be that way in a new version of a family? Those first couple of years after divorce, I wondered, “Can it be Christmas if you’re not with all the people you love on December 25"?
Read MoreOne day before my husband said "I do," we moved the final boxes into our new home.
When we should have been celebrating the our upcoming nuptials, we instead found ourselves overwhelmed and arguing about the chaotic state of the house, while also scrambling to pack for our honeymoon. Together, we learned a lot throughout the entire experience. To learn more about what I wish we would have and would not have done, visit the full article on Momaha.com
Read MoreThe last time my child rode his Big Wheel bike was nearly five years ago. If he tried to sit in it now, he would get stuck.
And yet it sits in our garage — huge and chunky — waiting for no one.
In fact, our garage has become a mausoleum of toys and clothes from days gone by. They're physical reminders of time; items I can't bring myself to get rid of.
Read MoreBy age 2, he knew his role in making banana bread was to smash down the bananas into puree using a potato masher. At age 3, I declared him "ready to go to college" because he successfully mixed up pancake batter by himself. It would be a few more years before he would graduate to actually frying or flipping them on his own, but he knew all the basics.
As an avid home cook — and a fan of cooking shows — I knew cooking was a favorite activity I wanted to share with my son. These everyday memories are some of my very favorite moments with my little buddy, and to this day, he asks to help whenever I'm in the kitchen.
When his step-sisters came into the picture, our new shared kitchen again became the place of learning — not only about cooking, but about one another. It's amazing how a child will open up about their life while helping do an everyday task. Chatting about the day, the kids — sometimes together and sometimes one on one — will chop strawberries, wash produce, make guacamole and practice measuring ingredients for cornbread.
Read MoreI had purchased three Bento boxes and spent weeks scrolling through Pinterest pages of nut-butter sandwich faces, animals made out of quinoa, organic berries and homemade flax cookies. As I stared down my new reality of being a working, divorced mom with a kid who I was sure would never eat hot lunch, these cute pictures taunted me as yet another way I was sure to fail as my son started his journey into elementary school.
Read MoreTrying to manage the kids’ activities is like trying to juggle while riding the spinning teacups at Disneyland.
In my house, we have three kids within a range of two years. Like a lot of families today, our children might be categorized as “over-programmed."
Most weeks we find ourselves running between competition dance, baseball, basketball, golf (or whatever sport is in season) and piano lessons. We'll even occasionally throw in in a showcase, performance or science fair at school.
We try to monitor this, but frequently an extra lesson or an extra team sneaks in here and there. And, unfortunately, there are just times where events overlap — or we can’t shuffle work around to be somewhere at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday — and we miss their event.
I feel the pang of guilt every time this happens.
Read MoreIn June 2018, I went from being the mom of an only child to the parent of three kids — my son and my husband’s two daughters.
I knew early into the relationship with my husband that not only was he the right one, but that his girls were the right ones, too. I had a deep love for all of them. What I didn’t have a clue about was how hard all of this would be for me to adapt to. While we have been incredibly fortunate — the kids have all bonded beautifully — there’s no “What to Expect When You’re Expecting a Whole New Family.”
Read MoreI am a stepmother and, if I'm being honest, it's not something I ever dreamed of being. I don't think any stepmom does.
As a young child, I didn't carry around my baby doll pretending I was its second mother. We don't dream of being a stepmom in the same way we dream of being moms. In our dreams, we're the mom our children know first; the only mom they'll ever come to love. We don't dream of being second. Being a stepmom means someone's first dream has ended in heartache.
But here I am — grateful to be a stepmom by design.
Read MoreFor months I stood on my soapbox saying, "My name is my name. If I want to be known as Jessica Lacey Flamingo-Hedgehog, then that is my choice." We all had lots of laughs about the idea of business cards that read "Flamingo-Hedgehog." That name is still unanimously approved by my husband and kids to this day.
I have agonized over this last name situation almost as much as I agonized over choosing my son's name.
Read MoreNineties rap blares on the radio as the air conditioning blasts against the new summer heat. Chip and snack cake wrappers litter the front seat. Is this a scene from an idyllic teenage summer?
Nope. It's just me — a bewildered mom — sitting kid-less in a Walmart parking lot after work, not knowing what to do with myself while my son is with his dad…
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