How Dia de los Muertos became a cherished tradition in our blended family
I had very little concept of Dia de los Muertos — or "Day of the Dead" — before marrying my husband. Growing up, I heard about "All Saints Day" in elementary school, and it was mentioned again in a high school Spanish class when we briefly covered Mexican cultural traditions. In 2017, the Disney movie "Coco" hit theaters, but I admit I was uninterested in seeing it because I didn't understand the holiday and believed a children's movie about death would likely have me sobbing into a tub of popcorn.
It wasn't until I became part of my husband's family that I started to personally understand and experience the beauty of Dia de los Muertos. My husband's maternal cultural heritage is Mexican, and the celebration of Dia de los Muertos is one that my mother-in-law, Suzanne, introduced me to through their family's tradition. The holiday has truly become a day I look forward to every year.
Dia de los Muertos takes place Nov. 1 and is a celebration of the lives of the deceased. Instead of mourning, the deceased are honored and celebrated with joyful events, lively music and food they enjoyed while they were living. The cultural customs of the day's events are meant to help us remember how death is a part of life and honor the joy of a life well lived.
One of the things I love most about celebrating Dia de los Muertos with my husband's family is the conversation and stories that are told around the dining room table about family members and friends who have passed away. Laughter and joy fill the air as my mother-in-law talks about her beloved sister, mother and grandmother, and how she remembers them. Looking at their photos on the ofrenda — an altar with offerings to the deceased — and hearing the stories, I can start to see the beautiful mosaic of love that has been passed down and makes up the personalities and characteristics of my husband and his daughters.
As children in a blended family, this experience freely opens up an opportunity for our kids to ask countless questions and explore family history, traditions and learn about loved ones they will only come to know by the memories shared around the table.
This day of celebration has also challenged me to think about the loved ones in my life who have passed away and feel more than sadness that they're gone while finding ways to honor who they were. My mother-in-law has always invited me and my son to participate by bringing photos or symbols of remembrance from our family. I was hesitant to do so the first few years because I didn't fully understand the beauty of the tradition before I experienced it. This year, however, I look forward to bringing a photo of my great-grandma and making a batch of her sugar cookies to share. I also plan to give each of our kids a special $1 gold coin like my beloved great-uncle used to do whenever he saw us.
These small moments of remembrance have become so important to me, and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn about and share in this rich and beautiful tradition. If you're not familiar with the tradition of Dia de los Muertos, I recommend checking out National Geographic or National Geographic Kids for a great description of the holiday.
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