Spontaneous road trips and sand volleyball leagues: Why getting out of your couple comfort zone is good

Last Friday night, my husband and I did something a little crazy. We subbed for a sand volleyball league. Now, for some of you, this may sound like a totally normal occurrence, but for two people who don't often play competitive sports (unless you count Monopoly), and have never played sports as a couple, this was definitely outside of our comfort zone.

While very hesitant to say yes, we agreed this would be the kind of experience that builds memories — a goal that we've re-committed to each other recently.

Our marriage of just over three years has been really, really good, but there are days we feel like we missed out on some of the "fun." Most days, our conversations are centered around the kids, logistics, laundry and work. We have taken a few trips together, but we've postponed or canceled a number of them, too, because life just got busy. I often find myself all too quickly making the trade between a "memory making experience" and the comfort of staying home. In speaking with others, this seems to be a common occurrence in long-term relationships.As partners in a blended family, I often describe our marriage as one that started smack dab in the middle. With three kids between us from the jump, we never got to experience some of the dating rituals we would have enjoyed in our 20s. Don't get me wrong, our courtship was special in its own way — filled with long phone conversations and prioritizing time with one another as much as we could. However, that often meant a quick movie on a Sunday afternoon before one of us picked up kids, or maybe a breakfast date and a walk after drop-off. A few hours here and there. We loved every minute of it, but our time together definitely contrasted with other "memory making" experiences of youth, such as spontaneous road trips, long weekends away and sand volleyball leagues.

So we've decided to prioritize experiences together that will help us make memories. We've committed to laughter, play and getting outside our comfort zone.

We had never tried to country swing dance together, and when the opportunity arose at our friends' wedding reception, we spent the whole night busting a move and laughing as we attempted "the pretzel." We planned a trip away, and even though I came up with lots of reasons why we should postpone, we are actually going to go. We were invited to play sand volleyball, and instead of saying no, we muscled through our insecurities about not having played in more than 20 years and had an absolute blast.

Saying yes to memory making has been really good for us, and has been a strong reminder of how important it is for us to spend time together not talking about the kids, work or laundry. Saying yes to these experiences has allowed us to once again say yes to the building of our relationship in another way — one that we missed out on in the beginning.

For us, something as simple as a sand volleyball game has created a memory we won't soon forget.