Living on planet earth is hard. I am very fortunate and see my life as beautiful and full, yet I have been challenged like many others with very hard circumstances. I’ve dealt with divorce, remarriage, changes in career and transitions in parenting. Oh, and this thing we’re universally going through — a global pandemic.

These are among just a few reasons why, over the last 10 years, I have invested time and resources in professional counseling and therapy. I’m convinced, based on my own experience, that if you are fortunate enough to have the resources available, professional counseling is something that anyone can benefit from.

If you haven’t experienced therapy before, there are a few things I’ll share from my experience.

First, there’s no “wrong way” to do it. You don’t have to wait to start therapy when you’re at your breaking point, or when something is “wrong.” Preventative therapy can be very positive. My husband and I have participated in therapy together and on our own, and have found having space with a neutral third party to navigate the dynamics of parenting, marriage and communication to be incredibly valuable and positive.

Second, it’s OK if you don’t click with your therapist. You can and, in my opinion, should find someone else. I met with one therapist who I found to be remarkably challenging and a poor fit for me, even though she came highly recommended. She was an exceptional, highly qualified professional, but other than our shared love for fashionable footwear, we just did not connect.

In smaller communities, it may be difficult to find another professional, but there are also wonderful resources online like Talk Space, Better Help and others that provide multiple options for licensed practitioners who are willing to connect in virtual meetings, by text or by phone. Sometimes insurance providers also have virtual options available to their clients. This can also be a wonderful solution if you are not comfortable meeting with someone in person.

Third, create time for regular check-in appointments, if you can. It’s like changing the oil in your car. Some people can do this on their own, but many of us take our car to the shop so that we know it’s done right. Therapy is kind of the same. You don’t have to walk through the difficulties of life on your own.

If there’s one thing I want to emphasize the most, it’s that seeking support from a therapist does not mean you aren’t in a loving marriage, or that you don’t have trustworthy and caring friends. It doesn’t mean you are “broken,” and it most certainly doesn’t mean you aren’t spiritual or don’t have enough faith. These are a few of the common stigmas that drive me crazy.

No one in the world would question if your health was good if you signed up for a gym membership; it would just be seen as a proactive step toward your health. Like supporting our physical health through nutrition and exercise, therapy is an important step for me in supporting my mental health.

When I’ve participated in therapy, I have found that I’m better able to navigate my feelings and communicate with my husband. I’m a more empathetic parent and a more focused professional. These are among just a few reasons why I recommend that everyone give counseling and therapy a try.

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