A Step in the Right Direction

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The tween years get a bad wrap, but personally this might be my favorite stage

My oldest stepdaughter walked through the kitchen and, with a smile on her face and a giggle in her voice, proclaimed that the tooth fairy had forgotten her yet again.

She joked that, since she got missed and these were the last of her baby teeth, the pay out better be good.

In an attempt to cover for the tooth-fairy's lack of appearance, I pulled her aside, reached into my wallet and pulled out five one-dollar bills. I handed her the cash, laughing.

"Here's four for your teeth, and an extra one for your silence," I told her.

We broke down laughing. These are among the moments that have me loving the "tween years."

Around the time my son started talking, the warnings of the "tween years" started swirling. Well-meaning friends who had older kids would say things like, "Enjoy this time. It won't be long before he's a tween and talking back to you." Or, "Enjoy the cuddles now because in a few years he won't want anything to do with you."

As a first-time mom of an only-child, these cautionary tales cut right through me as I looked at my sweet, loving little buddy.

Fast forward several years and that adorable, joyful, caring boy is now an 11-year-old tween. He and his stepsister, who is the same age, are smack dab between child and teen and, to be honest, this phase of parenting might be among my favorites.

I don't fault my friends who, on hard days, emitted their warnings, but I also can't help but think they might have missed the fun amidst the challenges of the age that are just unavoidable.

Yes, tweens can be a little moody and obstinate at times. Yes, they may need a little more space to figure out who they are in the world. But — at least in my experience — I find them to be incredibly enjoyable to be around.

Tweens are in an awkward space of being a child, but also trying to figure out what it means to be grown up. This can create battlegrounds, sure; but it also means that, as parents, we get to start introducing them to experiences we enjoy — and also relive the best of what it means to grow up.

Here is why I think the tween age is pretty great.

Entertainment choices change.

It's a tricky and challenging space to sort through the variety of entertainment that peppers the interest of our kids. From video games to television content, we take great care in understanding what our kids are consuming.

That said, the choices begin to expand into content that, as parents, we enjoy seeing and experiencing as well. Our family still sits down to watch the latest Disney animated movie, but we're expanding their selection to include a few select sci-fi movies, too. My husband has really enjoyed an excuse to jump on the PlayStation after work with my son, and I love hearing their boisterous teasing of who made a better play on NBA2K.

Bath and Body Works — need I say more?

This store, filled with competing scents around every corner, is still the same as it was in 1997 at the Fremont Mall.

On a recent trip, my two stepdaughters spent no fewer than 45 minutes sniffing lotions, sprays and hand sanitizers from pumpkin to jasmine. I walked away with nostalgia and some delightful new soap.

Tweens of today are great at tech.

When my "elder millennial" patience has run out on a new app or tech issue, I just have to ask one of the digital natives in my house to help and my iPad is back running smoothly in no time."

Board games have reached a new level of fun.

Long gone are the days of helping our kids at Monopoly. Wired for strategy and fierce competition, our kids are a blast to battle with over any board game. We have literally spent days playing board games, and often we parents get beat.

Burgers and ice cream are food groups.

I recently took my son and a few friends on an outing where we dined on burgers, fries, chicken strips and shakes. This is not the place where I need to order a polite luncheon salad, and I'm all about it. There is no judgement from these hungry boys, and it's a great excuse for mom to indulge a little bit, too.

When asked about my favorite age, I always say I haven't found one that I don't love. Our kids honestly just keep getting better. Being a tween gets a bad wrap, but I encourage you to embrace the funny and the quirky any chance you get.

And if you and your tween are at odds, just take a trip to Bath and Body Works or Burger King. I'm certain they'll be hugging you again in no time.

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